Written January 19th, 1967 by Rovelia Finch-Horsman
This trip was made from Bliss, Oklahoma to Montana near Knowlton by my sister Pearlie, her husband Curgie Stallard, two boys; Berl 15 mo old, Harold 3 years, in a covered wagon pulled by two big horses. We had 2 colts along & we hitched them on when the going got rough. My sister & her husband had decided to move to Montana & take up a homestead. They came by and wanted Odette to come with them, she was still in school & had a boy friend, so I decided to come instead to take a homestead too. But when we got here I found I was too young would have to be 21 years old. So got a job as a waitress in Ismay where I spilt a glass of water in the lap of my future husband, Alvah Horseman, so he told me, I couldn’t remember the incident. But leaving Oklahoma & my folks, (who came to Montana later 1917).
We started the 1st day of April 1915 & arrived near Knowlton May 26th 1915. Two very eventful months. We camped just south of Blakewell that night. We had a little stove that sat on a ledge by the side of the driver we burned wood that had to be sawed 1 ft. long. But we didn’t travel Sundays we stopped & rested the horses & then we would wash, bake our bread in this stove in B.P.cans, anything that would fit the little oven in this little stove. Would boil meat to slice cold, bake beans, the little stove was really busy. As we traveled along, Curgie would shoot rabbits, squirrels. As we got near Montana, we had sage hen & grouse. Take Jack rabbits & sage hen & grind them together. Really made swell eating. We traveled thru Kansas and somewhere we lost our little dog. We camped for the night & in the morning he was gone. His name was Trix at Delphas Kansas. We went thru Wellington, Riverdale, Clearwater, then Wichita camped 4 mi North of Wichita the 6th of April. Then Valley Center, Sedgwick thru Newton, Hasston. All thru here it rained & rained muddy we couldn’t make very good time McPerson. 11th was Sunday. Then Salina Kan. Went thru Glasco, Simpson, Asherville, camped South of Beloit, Gleneider, Paris, Hummer camped south of Smith center camped 2 mi from Nebraska line. Went thru Hildreth encamped s.of Kearney, Odessa going west now Elm Rock Camped 1 mi north of Lexington 24th did not travel being so muddy. We traveled along the Platt River for miles & many towns. Came to one town at evening & the livery stable was so large we drove wagon horses & all into it and stayed all nite in there it rained & we traveled on 20 mi & that nite we could see this black cloud east back where we had stayed the nite before in the stable. And word came that about 4?? a cyclone blew the stable down & wrecked the town. I thing the town was Joselyn Neb.
Came to North Platte. Went thru Sutherland & 5 little town we were traveling up the North Platte River now. We turned North at Oshkosh & were in the Sand Hills of Nebraska 2 days in Sand hills & going toward Alliance, then on to Harrison. It was the 6th of May, now 9th was Sunday & we were east of Harrison came thru Harrison making our way to Edgemont S.D. and traveling the old trail where many & many wagons had traveled & left many ruts too deep to travel in.
??n here we had to camp in the morning we got up & started out & met a cowboy & he told us we were going back the way we came so we ate dinner 1 mi from where we ate breakfast. Then we saw a railroad & followed that west & north. We had to open & shut our first gate, 3 wire gate of barb wire. We camped, we had a canvas manger we would tie one end of it to a tree & the other to the wagon. Curgie always rubbed the horses, all 4 of them. Had halters for all of them. Next morning we got up & not a horse in sight. Curgie took the halters (all of them laid on the ground & hobbles all laid there to, 4 set of them). Curgie went back to the gate we had opened & shut & there were the 4 horses on their way back to Oklahoma 1000 mi down the road. Maybe you think we weren’t glad to see him leading the two big horses & the colts following. We got started & that eve we saw ahead what looked like a big stump. We ask a cowboy what it was he said it was the devils tower & it was 70 miles away, it must have been for it took us 3 days to reach it and a day to go by it. Then we were getting near the Montana line. Came by the chalk buttes, followed Powder River north. The old, old roads were still there where hundreds had traveled before us. We came as direct to Knowlton as we could. Got to Marion Cambell's homestead about 2 pm in the afternoon of May the 26th.
Curgie and Pearlier got their homestead about ¾ of a mile west up the creek from Marions. Knowlton was our P. O. They were sowing oats and planting potatoes when we left Okla.. Curgie plowed & planted his oats. We planted a nice garden on sa? from seed the government sent from Washington D. C. You would write and ask for them and a big pkg. of everything more than an average family could possible use. We had plenty of moisture & we had bushels of potatoes, beets canned and dried sweet corn and luck was with us. Curgie, Pearlie & I built a nice one big room house. Dug a well. Lived in a tent we borrowed from someone I don’t remember now.
Well folks, I am so glad I lived in those days & got to do all those things, it has made my life really exciting and have lived nearly 70 years. Feel like I, & we, were one, & some, of the first pioneers that helped settle this great State of Montana.
I am Berl & Harold's Aunt Rovelia Horsman
Ava Lee was the little girl that came tagging along a year or so after we got a home for her.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Friday, December 23, 2011
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Thursday, December 15, 2011
DIAGNOSIS
Forsyth city ordinance:
7-3-6: Public Nuisance Animals:
A. A public nuisance animal is any animal that unreasonably annoys humans, endangers the life or health of other animals or persons, or substantially interferes with the rights of citizens, other than their owners, to the enjoyment of life or property. A public nuisance animal shall include, but not be limited to, any animal that:
1. Is repeatedly found at large;
2. Damages the property of persons other than its owner;
3. Repeatedly molests or intimidates pedestrians or passersby;
4. Repeatedly chases vehicles;
5. Repeatedly barks, howls, whines, or growls such that it disturbs the quiet enjoyment of the neighborhood as documented by persons living or working in the immediate vicinity of the dog:
a. For a period of more than ten (10) minutes between the hours of ten o’clock (10:00) P.M. and seven o’clock (7:00) A.M.;
b. For a period of more than twenty (20) minutes between the hours of 7 o’clock (7:00) A.M. and ten o’clock (10:00) P.M.
c. It shall be an absolute defense to such violation if the owner or other person maintaining or harboring the dog proves by a preponderance of the evidence that the primary reason the dog was barking, howling, whining, or growling was that the dog was being provoked by a person or was otherwise being incited, or was acting as a guide dog, hearing dog, service dog, work dog, or guard dog:
6. Causes fowling of the air by odor and thereby creates unreasonable annoyance or discomfort to neighbors or others in close proximity to the premises where the animal is kept or harbored;
7. Attacks other animals or is found to otherwise be a menace to the public health, welfare, or safety.
B. It shall be unlawful for any person to have in his/her possession, ownership, maintenance or control, a public nuisance animal.
C. Whenever a person has been found guilty of a violation of this section, he/she shall be found guilty of a misdemeanor, and the court may:
1. Impose a fine of not less than twenty five dollars ($25.00) or more than five hundred dollars ($500.00), and may be confined in the county jail for a period of not more than six (6) months.
2. Require payment of all impoundment fees and all reasonable costs incurred in providing necessary veterinary attention and treatment for the subject animal and any and all other reasonable costs incurred as a result of the violation.
3. Depending upon the severity of the offense, order that the animal be seized and destroyed.
_______________________
The author of this ordinance, Ms Convery, has ‘jumped ship’ and is hopefully running a goat farm somewhere. I’m sure she has no intention of justifying this ordinance, beyond the previously opined “fairness”. My opinion and/or interpretation is not official policy, however let me try.
Re repeatedly; it’s ambiguous. Pick any number more than one.
Re documented; you’re dreaming if you think this means a written note with dates and times, or the same as demonstrable proof a violation occurred. No, you’d better buy a video camera, and you’ll also need a computer and know how to use it, if you expect to get any dog citations in Doofusville. If you wish to shoot video at 2:00 A.M. however, refer to Ms Convery for make/model, because I don’t have the slightest idea! Who said a lawyer must have actionable or practical intelligence? Do you think a lawyer enjoys driving 85 miles in pursuit of problem dogs?
Re persons; plural. So a neighbor will also require all of the above. If the neighbor isn’t already awake at 2:00 A.M. due to barking dogs, then you must wake him and shoot concurrent videos. If the neighbor elects to shoot you instead, that’s your problem! Ms Convery, or perhaps the mayor, would probably say “good, one less complainer”.
Re For a period of more than….; violates code 7-1-11, but Ms Convery doesn’t give a rat’s ass!
Re guide dog, hearing dog, service dog, work dog, or guard dog: Whatever happened to lap dogs and mutts? I’m still wondering what a “work dog” does within city limits.
Re it shall be unlawful for…..; Verbiage signifying nothing. Even dogs with prior convictions are now sacrosanct!
My opinion; The Doofusville Five have indulged in a systematic and systemic campaign of obfuscation and nonfeasance, so this ordinance comes as no surprise! Only a doofus would approve this ordinance. The comprehension of animal control officers, Tweedledumb and Tweedledee, also no concern, since they only follow orders and do nothing. Why in the hell do you suppose they were appointed animal control officers? You could have a simple, concise, straight forward ordinance, but you’d still need someone to enforce it. Who would that be?????
All is not hopeless, it only takes 217 registered voters to recall doofuses unwilling to do their job.
MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY HOLIDAYS
7-3-6: Public Nuisance Animals:
A. A public nuisance animal is any animal that unreasonably annoys humans, endangers the life or health of other animals or persons, or substantially interferes with the rights of citizens, other than their owners, to the enjoyment of life or property. A public nuisance animal shall include, but not be limited to, any animal that:
1. Is repeatedly found at large;
2. Damages the property of persons other than its owner;
3. Repeatedly molests or intimidates pedestrians or passersby;
4. Repeatedly chases vehicles;
5. Repeatedly barks, howls, whines, or growls such that it disturbs the quiet enjoyment of the neighborhood as documented by persons living or working in the immediate vicinity of the dog:
a. For a period of more than ten (10) minutes between the hours of ten o’clock (10:00) P.M. and seven o’clock (7:00) A.M.;
b. For a period of more than twenty (20) minutes between the hours of 7 o’clock (7:00) A.M. and ten o’clock (10:00) P.M.
c. It shall be an absolute defense to such violation if the owner or other person maintaining or harboring the dog proves by a preponderance of the evidence that the primary reason the dog was barking, howling, whining, or growling was that the dog was being provoked by a person or was otherwise being incited, or was acting as a guide dog, hearing dog, service dog, work dog, or guard dog:
6. Causes fowling of the air by odor and thereby creates unreasonable annoyance or discomfort to neighbors or others in close proximity to the premises where the animal is kept or harbored;
7. Attacks other animals or is found to otherwise be a menace to the public health, welfare, or safety.
B. It shall be unlawful for any person to have in his/her possession, ownership, maintenance or control, a public nuisance animal.
C. Whenever a person has been found guilty of a violation of this section, he/she shall be found guilty of a misdemeanor, and the court may:
1. Impose a fine of not less than twenty five dollars ($25.00) or more than five hundred dollars ($500.00), and may be confined in the county jail for a period of not more than six (6) months.
2. Require payment of all impoundment fees and all reasonable costs incurred in providing necessary veterinary attention and treatment for the subject animal and any and all other reasonable costs incurred as a result of the violation.
3. Depending upon the severity of the offense, order that the animal be seized and destroyed.
_______________________
The author of this ordinance, Ms Convery, has ‘jumped ship’ and is hopefully running a goat farm somewhere. I’m sure she has no intention of justifying this ordinance, beyond the previously opined “fairness”. My opinion and/or interpretation is not official policy, however let me try.
Re repeatedly; it’s ambiguous. Pick any number more than one.
Re documented; you’re dreaming if you think this means a written note with dates and times, or the same as demonstrable proof a violation occurred. No, you’d better buy a video camera, and you’ll also need a computer and know how to use it, if you expect to get any dog citations in Doofusville. If you wish to shoot video at 2:00 A.M. however, refer to Ms Convery for make/model, because I don’t have the slightest idea! Who said a lawyer must have actionable or practical intelligence? Do you think a lawyer enjoys driving 85 miles in pursuit of problem dogs?
Re persons; plural. So a neighbor will also require all of the above. If the neighbor isn’t already awake at 2:00 A.M. due to barking dogs, then you must wake him and shoot concurrent videos. If the neighbor elects to shoot you instead, that’s your problem! Ms Convery, or perhaps the mayor, would probably say “good, one less complainer”.
Re For a period of more than….; violates code 7-1-11, but Ms Convery doesn’t give a rat’s ass!
Re guide dog, hearing dog, service dog, work dog, or guard dog: Whatever happened to lap dogs and mutts? I’m still wondering what a “work dog” does within city limits.
Re it shall be unlawful for…..; Verbiage signifying nothing. Even dogs with prior convictions are now sacrosanct!
My opinion; The Doofusville Five have indulged in a systematic and systemic campaign of obfuscation and nonfeasance, so this ordinance comes as no surprise! Only a doofus would approve this ordinance. The comprehension of animal control officers, Tweedledumb and Tweedledee, also no concern, since they only follow orders and do nothing. Why in the hell do you suppose they were appointed animal control officers? You could have a simple, concise, straight forward ordinance, but you’d still need someone to enforce it. Who would that be?????
All is not hopeless, it only takes 217 registered voters to recall doofuses unwilling to do their job.
MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY HOLIDAYS
Monday, December 12, 2011
nuisance redefined
Montana Code:
27-30-101. Definition of nuisance. (1) Anything which is injurious to health, indecent or offensive to the senses, or an obstruction to the free use of property, so as to interfere with the comfortable enjoyment of life or property, or which unlawfully obstructs the free passage or use, in the customary manner, of any navigable lake, river, bay, stream, canal, or basin or any public park, square, street, or highway is a nuisance.
Forsyth city ordinance:
7-3-6: Public Nuisance Animals:
A. A public nuisance animal is any animal that unreasonably annoys humans, endangers the life of health of other animals or persons, or substantially interferes with the rights of citizens, other than their owners, to the enjoyment of life or property. A public nuisance animal shall include, but not be limited to, any animal that:
1. Is repeatedly found at large;
2. Damages the property of persons other than its owner;
3. Repeatedly molests or intimidates pedestrians or passersby;
4. Repeatedly chases vehicles;
5. Repeatedly barks, howls, whines, or growls such that it disturbs the quiet enjoyment of the neighborhood as documented by persons living or working in the immediate vicinity of the dog:
a. For a period of more than ten (10) minutes between the hours of ten o’clock (10:00) P.M. and seven o’clock (7:00) A.M.;
b. For a period of more than twenty (20) minutes between the hours of 7 o’clock (7:00) A.M. and ten o’clock (10:00) P.M.
c. It shall be an absolute defense to such violation if the owner or other person maintaining or harboring the dog proves by a preponderance of the evidence that the primary reason the dog was barking, howling, whining, or growling was that the dog was being provoked by a person or was otherwise being incited, or was acting as a guide dog, hearing dog, service dog, work dog, or guard dog:
6. Causes fowling of the air by odor and thereby creates unreasonable annoyance or discomfort to neighbors or others in close proximity to the premises where the animal is kept or harbored;
7. Attacks other animals or is found to otherwise be a menace to the public health, welfare, or safety.
B. It shall be unlawful for any person to have in his/her possession, ownership, maintenance or control, a public nuisance animal.
C. Whenever a person has been found guilty of a violation of this section, he/she shall be found guilty of a misdemeanor, and the court may:
1. Impose a fine of not less than twenty five dollars ($25.00) or more than five hundred dollars ($500.00), and may be confined in the county jail for a period of not more than six (6) months.
2. Require payment of all impoundment fees and all reasonable costs incurred in providing necessary veterinary attention and treatment for the subject animal and any and all other reasonable costs incurred as a result of the violation.
3. Depending upon the severity of the offense, order that the animal be seized and destroyed.
____________________________________________________________
The author of the Forsyth dog ordinance, Rebecca Convery, justified the new dog ordinance at the city council meeting this way; “after doing some research, I’ve determined the new dog ordinance to be very fair.” Ms Convery, who also serves as the Prairie County county attorney, presumably researched other city codes before arriving at this opinion, because Prairie County doesn’t have a dog ordinance. So my question to Ms Convery is; why are Prairie County residents being treated so UNFAIRLY? Perhaps Ms Convery should put her own doghouse in order……… before offering opinions!
I also find it very odd that the presumptive combined intelligence of the Doofusville Five can’t/won’t accept Montana’s definition of a nuisance, nor will Ms Convery.
Terry ordinance:
8.04.070 Nuisance Animals.
It is hereby declared a public nuisance for any dog or other animal to destroy property or other pets; to bite or chase after persons not trespassing on the property of, or injuring or attempting to injure the person, family or property of the owner; to chase vehicles in public streets or ways; or by prolonged howling, yelping, barking or by any other means, cause annoyance or disturbance to any person. Any such nuisance animal may be taken up and impounded by the Poundmaster, Dogcatcher, or any other Law Enforcement Officer. It is unlawful for any person to own, harbor, keep or maintain any such nuisance animal and it shall be the duty of the Poundmaster, Dogcatcher, and any other Law Enforcement Officer to issue tickets and file complaint for all such violations occurring in their presence. Any person aggrieved by a nuisance animal may file a complaint in the Police Court charging the owner with the violation of this section, where the offense is not committed in the presence of the Poundmaster, Dogcatcher, or any other Law Enforcement Officer. Upon a third conviction under this section, the nuisance animal shall be seized and taken up by the Poundmaster, Dogcatcher, or any other Law Enforcement Officer and put to death forthwith.
____________________________________________________________
Are readers aware Ms Convery also serves as the Terry city attorney? Again, so why are Terry residents being treated so UNFAIRLY?
Prairie County county attorney; Becky Convery (D) (49) votes out of (538) ballots..
Sounds like another underwhelming mandate for apathy!
Of course, Ms Convery’s dog expertise and inconsistency is now moot water under the bridge. I trust the Doofusville Five won’t have any problem filling her boots.….. and any replacement’s job performance will be thoroughly vetted; “Can you keep a doofus out of jail and avoid lawsuits? Oh, good! You’re hired.”
27-30-101. Definition of nuisance. (1) Anything which is injurious to health, indecent or offensive to the senses, or an obstruction to the free use of property, so as to interfere with the comfortable enjoyment of life or property, or which unlawfully obstructs the free passage or use, in the customary manner, of any navigable lake, river, bay, stream, canal, or basin or any public park, square, street, or highway is a nuisance.
Forsyth city ordinance:
7-3-6: Public Nuisance Animals:
A. A public nuisance animal is any animal that unreasonably annoys humans, endangers the life of health of other animals or persons, or substantially interferes with the rights of citizens, other than their owners, to the enjoyment of life or property. A public nuisance animal shall include, but not be limited to, any animal that:
1. Is repeatedly found at large;
2. Damages the property of persons other than its owner;
3. Repeatedly molests or intimidates pedestrians or passersby;
4. Repeatedly chases vehicles;
5. Repeatedly barks, howls, whines, or growls such that it disturbs the quiet enjoyment of the neighborhood as documented by persons living or working in the immediate vicinity of the dog:
a. For a period of more than ten (10) minutes between the hours of ten o’clock (10:00) P.M. and seven o’clock (7:00) A.M.;
b. For a period of more than twenty (20) minutes between the hours of 7 o’clock (7:00) A.M. and ten o’clock (10:00) P.M.
c. It shall be an absolute defense to such violation if the owner or other person maintaining or harboring the dog proves by a preponderance of the evidence that the primary reason the dog was barking, howling, whining, or growling was that the dog was being provoked by a person or was otherwise being incited, or was acting as a guide dog, hearing dog, service dog, work dog, or guard dog:
6. Causes fowling of the air by odor and thereby creates unreasonable annoyance or discomfort to neighbors or others in close proximity to the premises where the animal is kept or harbored;
7. Attacks other animals or is found to otherwise be a menace to the public health, welfare, or safety.
B. It shall be unlawful for any person to have in his/her possession, ownership, maintenance or control, a public nuisance animal.
C. Whenever a person has been found guilty of a violation of this section, he/she shall be found guilty of a misdemeanor, and the court may:
1. Impose a fine of not less than twenty five dollars ($25.00) or more than five hundred dollars ($500.00), and may be confined in the county jail for a period of not more than six (6) months.
2. Require payment of all impoundment fees and all reasonable costs incurred in providing necessary veterinary attention and treatment for the subject animal and any and all other reasonable costs incurred as a result of the violation.
3. Depending upon the severity of the offense, order that the animal be seized and destroyed.
____________________________________________________________
The author of the Forsyth dog ordinance, Rebecca Convery, justified the new dog ordinance at the city council meeting this way; “after doing some research, I’ve determined the new dog ordinance to be very fair.” Ms Convery, who also serves as the Prairie County county attorney, presumably researched other city codes before arriving at this opinion, because Prairie County doesn’t have a dog ordinance. So my question to Ms Convery is; why are Prairie County residents being treated so UNFAIRLY? Perhaps Ms Convery should put her own doghouse in order……… before offering opinions!
I also find it very odd that the presumptive combined intelligence of the Doofusville Five can’t/won’t accept Montana’s definition of a nuisance, nor will Ms Convery.
Terry ordinance:
8.04.070 Nuisance Animals.
It is hereby declared a public nuisance for any dog or other animal to destroy property or other pets; to bite or chase after persons not trespassing on the property of, or injuring or attempting to injure the person, family or property of the owner; to chase vehicles in public streets or ways; or by prolonged howling, yelping, barking or by any other means, cause annoyance or disturbance to any person. Any such nuisance animal may be taken up and impounded by the Poundmaster, Dogcatcher, or any other Law Enforcement Officer. It is unlawful for any person to own, harbor, keep or maintain any such nuisance animal and it shall be the duty of the Poundmaster, Dogcatcher, and any other Law Enforcement Officer to issue tickets and file complaint for all such violations occurring in their presence. Any person aggrieved by a nuisance animal may file a complaint in the Police Court charging the owner with the violation of this section, where the offense is not committed in the presence of the Poundmaster, Dogcatcher, or any other Law Enforcement Officer. Upon a third conviction under this section, the nuisance animal shall be seized and taken up by the Poundmaster, Dogcatcher, or any other Law Enforcement Officer and put to death forthwith.
____________________________________________________________
Are readers aware Ms Convery also serves as the Terry city attorney? Again, so why are Terry residents being treated so UNFAIRLY?
Prairie County county attorney; Becky Convery (D) (49) votes out of (538) ballots..
Sounds like another underwhelming mandate for apathy!
Of course, Ms Convery’s dog expertise and inconsistency is now moot water under the bridge. I trust the Doofusville Five won’t have any problem filling her boots.….. and any replacement’s job performance will be thoroughly vetted; “Can you keep a doofus out of jail and avoid lawsuits? Oh, good! You’re hired.”
Sunday, December 11, 2011
POIGNANT PATHOS
If you check the archives, you will see a post called “Guest Photographers”, wherein I invited a few photographer friends to submit any photo of their choice. Almost all responded and it was great fun, so I thought it was time for a repeat, only this time they were each given a theme, “pathos”, and a deadline around mid January. I’m now looking forward to their ideas and submissions with great anticipation!
Additionally, now ‘tis the season’ and, like previous years, I’ve again made highly suggestive overtures to friends.….. including some of these same people. And again, like previous years, I expect I’ll be shopping at the Salvation Army for clothes to tide me thru the winter, or going to the Senior Center for a hot meal and homemade holiday cookies. Sob, sob!
Which brings readers up to the present day. I’m now having second thoughts, I usually do, and wondering if the pathos theme is overly ambitious? Or, if roles were reversed, what would I do? Well, I don’t have the slightest idea.
Additionally, now ‘tis the season’ and, like previous years, I’ve again made highly suggestive overtures to friends.….. including some of these same people. And again, like previous years, I expect I’ll be shopping at the Salvation Army for clothes to tide me thru the winter, or going to the Senior Center for a hot meal and homemade holiday cookies. Sob, sob!
Which brings readers up to the present day. I’m now having second thoughts, I usually do, and wondering if the pathos theme is overly ambitious? Or, if roles were reversed, what would I do? Well, I don’t have the slightest idea.
Friday, December 9, 2011
Minnesota declares war! Uff da!
President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.
"Hello, President Obama," a heavily accented Norwegian voice said. "'Dis here is Sven, over here at the Muni Liquor Store in Menahga, Minnesota. Ve don't like some a yer policies so I am callin' to tell ya that we are officially declaring war on ya!"
"Well, Sven," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Sven, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Knute, my next-door-neighbor Ole, and the whole pool team from the Muni.
Barack paused, "I must tell you Sven that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command.""Wow," said Sven, "I'll haf ta call ya back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Sven called again. "Mr. Obama, da war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be, Sven?" Barack asked.
"Vell sir, ve got two combines, a bulldozer, and Sigurd's farm tractor."
President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Sven, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."
"All right den, said Sven. "I'll be getting back to ya."
Sure enough, Sven rang again the next day... "President Obama, da war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Ole's ultra-light vit a couple'a shotguns in da cockpit, and four boys from the coffee shop haf joined us as vell!"
Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Sven, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Two million you say?," said Sven, "I'll haf' to call you back."
Sure enough, Sven called again the next day. "President Obama! I am sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war."
"I'm sorry to hear that," said Barack. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
Vell, sir," said Sven, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a few beers, and come to realize that there's yust no vay ve can feed two million prisoners."
"Hello, President Obama," a heavily accented Norwegian voice said. "'Dis here is Sven, over here at the Muni Liquor Store in Menahga, Minnesota. Ve don't like some a yer policies so I am callin' to tell ya that we are officially declaring war on ya!"
"Well, Sven," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Sven, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Knute, my next-door-neighbor Ole, and the whole pool team from the Muni.
Barack paused, "I must tell you Sven that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command.""Wow," said Sven, "I'll haf ta call ya back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Sven called again. "Mr. Obama, da war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be, Sven?" Barack asked.
"Vell sir, ve got two combines, a bulldozer, and Sigurd's farm tractor."
President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Sven, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."
"All right den, said Sven. "I'll be getting back to ya."
Sure enough, Sven rang again the next day... "President Obama, da war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Ole's ultra-light vit a couple'a shotguns in da cockpit, and four boys from the coffee shop haf joined us as vell!"
Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Sven, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Two million you say?," said Sven, "I'll haf' to call you back."
Sure enough, Sven called again the next day. "President Obama! I am sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war."
"I'm sorry to hear that," said Barack. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
Vell, sir," said Sven, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a few beers, and come to realize that there's yust no vay ve can feed two million prisoners."
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
HOT PIZZA
The other day, in a rare pensive moment, I realized I haven’t enjoyed a hot pizza in over 20+ years. I came to this realization, or divine afflatus, after walking my two large, thick-crust pizzas with sausage, pepperoni and green pepper out to the truck....…. then deciding I was too hungry to endure the aroma, while driving the 40-odd miles home, so I treated myself to a couple slices -- right there in the parking lot. Aside from being very hot, it was also very good, perhaps “excellent” would be a better word. I’d forgotten how good hot pizza truly is! Hot pizza is twice as good as microwave pizza, and microwave pizza is only slightly better than no pizza. At the risk of appearing a little eccentric, I might park a lawn chair in the parking lot the next time I go out for pizza.
So how do we become creatures of habit, always driving pizza home so it can be micro-zapped later into the consistency of shoe leather, instead of enjoying the family friendly atmosphere of Pizza Hut’s décor, ambiance and surround-sound TV with every conceivable ESPN channel know to man?
The “family friendly” label really means no smoking, but you may encounter kid mayhem from an adjoining booth. Why don’t they shut-up and enjoy the pizza and games on TV…….or go jump on that air thingy in the next room?
In a perfect world, I’d have a Pizza Hut upstairs apartment, the part not over the rubber room, complete with room service. At best, I might tolerate slow room service!
Friday, December 2, 2011
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Monday, November 28, 2011
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Friday, November 25, 2011
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Message to my turkey friends:
____________________________________
Run for the hills.........and have a GREAT DAY!
Run for the hills.........and have a GREAT DAY!
Monday, November 21, 2011
Friday, November 18, 2011
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)